Follow Laura Dweck’s top tips for a successful soirée – using candlelight, fragrance and the classic bow

Lead image: Dibor’s Moonlit Christmas Collection

Hosting this festive period isn’t for everyone, but for those of us who are houseproud and keen to stay put in ropey weather, decking the halls and entertaining is the way to go. 

Being steeped in tradition makes it easier to plan, as there’s no creating menus from scratch, but it also sets the bar high – giving unfair comparisons with the Christmases you remember with rose-tinted nostalgia. Cast aside those expectations from within, and make the season work for you.

It’s the journey, not the destination

The process of decorating – particularly with children – is often more enjoyable for them than the end result, which might be lost on the seven-year-old whose motto is more is more. Think paper chains cut from illustrated wrapping paper and gingerbread houses (use the kits to save yourself from the angst of crumbling walls).
 It’s a perfect pastime for a dark winter’s night, and I like to do this as early in the season as possible to feel the joy throughout December.

Liberty print chain link garland

Fake it to make it


A key ingredient for hosting at Christmas, apart from copious amounts of mulled wine so they don’t notice a rush cleaning job or DIY shortcuts, is atmosphere. Of course, a great way to ensure a joyful and cosy festive atmosphere is the sparkling wit and repartee of guests and hosts. If you can’t rely on this, then focus on the elements you can control, such as light, smell and sound.


Swoon Terning dining table

Candlelight

The simplest way to lean into those dark nights is to ramp up the candles. Dot single dinner candle holders amongst dishes for a sit-down meal, or cheat the look of an open fire with clusters of pillar candles on a fireplace hearth. I’m rushing to buy one of John Lewis’ beautiful Nutcracker Spinners – they move from the heat of the candle, casting shadows on the ceiling.

Smell

Scent can trigger waves of nostalgia at this time of year. A season of distinctive scents: mulled wine, Christmas tree pine, orange from pomanders. It’s easy to layer these naturally at home, but if those aren’t strong enough, there are plenty of brands who can save you the trouble. Diptyque Pomander, White Company Winter, and Neom’s Winter Wellbeing candle will all have your home smelling delicious.


Sound


Never was there an easier time of year for choice in the music department. Carols for drinks with the formal oldies, Bublé for a relaxed dinner with friends and Now Christmas for that kids get together that could easily disintegrate after a game of The Floor is Lava.

 For those who still want in on the action but are committed elsewhere on the big day, don’t ignore those opportunities to host and entertain in a smaller, more manageable way that still feels special.



The White Company napkin bows

Drinks with neighbours


If you’re lucky enough to have good neighbours, treasure them and show you care by getting them jolly on martinis. Demonstrating some good hospitality could see them return the favour one day when you need it most.

Depending on how many you’re expecting, I would place the emphasis on a casual evening, putting everyone at ease by setting up a drinks station to imply a help-yourself principle. Fashion oversized wine coolers from galvanized buckets and platters of charcuterie. A little goes a long way, so go big on the garnishes – rosemary in G&Ts and oversized ice cubes for short drinks like an Old Fashioned will leave them feeling like you’re a pro.
 


Christmas living with OKA

If you’re running out of energy towards the end of the year and don’t feel like pulling out all the stops, don’t underestimate piggybacking on an existing event and hosting an afterparty. After all, the house will already be decorated, and it’s the time of year a meal of cheese is socially acceptable. 

Children going ice skating with friends? Host a mini afterparty with hot chocolate and fuel their obsession for marshmallows. Just add a few Christmas games and you’ll find that (most) kids are remarkably un-judgmental and easily pleased. 

Ditto with carol concerts, nativity plays or any occasion spirits are high, where you have a pre-assembled crowd who might want to carry on the party.


Unless you’re really bucking the trend and opting for a TV dinner of curry on the big day, the dining table will likely be the centre of attention. This might mean an annual airing of the special china or simply jazzing up the everyday. You can’t fail to have noticed that the bow is really having a moment. This year I’m opting for traditional touches of red at the table with The White Company’s red velvet napkin bows. I’m complementing this with some brass candlesticks with candy pink shades from Willow Crossley for a more whimsy take on the traditional tablescape. 

A beautiful setting won’t stop children bickering over who received the most toys, that last minute vegan request just as you’re taking a roast out of the oven, or your sibling gifting inappropriately large and noisy gifts to your little darlings – but it will distract and make things pretty during the chaos. My motto this year: if in doubt, put a bow on it. That goes for burnt dinners, dogs or knackered husbands, and that window overlooking a now barren garden.