The TV presenter and designer talks bouncing back and turning setbacks into life-changing opportunities

As we start to see the beginnings of spring on the horizon, it is human nature to start thinking about renewal. When the team at Scottish Woman Magazine said that this would be a theme for this issue, I had a little think about what renewal means to me.

Like many of you, I have certainly had ups and downs in my life – it’s only to be expected if you have the luck to live a relatively long and interesting one. I have spoken openly on my socials about how I manage my mental health, and I believe strongly that it’s important to make this a much easier subject to be open about and to seek help with. We women are often praised for our resilience, seen as an important asset in a challenging world. I sometimes ponder whether this could be in part because it is so much more necessary for us to survive the extra blows that life gives us… but I’ll not turn this into a feminist rant, you know what I’m talking about!

Anna at work on her homeware collection

I have learned through experience that a bounce can come after a fall. I have come to realise that learning about ourselves after a seemingly insurmountable setback leads to growth, to renewal. Now that I am slap bang in the middle of my fifties I can almost see it signposted. So when last spring I decided to end a long-term relationship for complex but correct reasons, I knew it would be painful, and more so because I had waited too long with hope that things would change. I suppose I had been fearing the pain, even though I knew that I had survived worse and eventually lived better after a period of recovery.

It is important not to avoid thinking deeply about whatever bump you have hit in your own road. I have benefitted hugely from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy in the past and dip back in at times when I think I need a top-up. What I like about it is that it gives you the tools to help yourself. There will always be tough times (that’s life!) and it helps you to understand that everything is surmountable, that no-one’s problems are unique. 

Fun times with friends

This is also where having a close network of brilliant female friends can bring so much. Good friends will listen without judgement, allow you to air your feelings, let you test your thoughts and patiently wait for you to work it out. I have learned to keep moving forward – even if it’s slowly at first, one metaphorical foot after the other – knowing I will get to wherever/whoever it is that I need to be. Part of the problem is that we can struggle to imagine what the future looks like if there has been a massive change, like a bereavement or relationship breakdown, and that fear of the unknown can be frightening. 

It might sound glib, or even corny, but I have found that I now almost look forward to finding out what will change after a catastrophe. I have learned to look for these opportunities and to trust myself and the process of change, of eventual renewal. I never imagined I would be single at my age – this didn’t ever feel like my destiny until now. And boy oh boy, I am having the best time! I have never felt more carefree. I am carving out a new kind of life for myself, surprised almost every day by green buds of possibility; whether it’s the thought of going on holiday by myself for the first time in my life or having ideas about ventures I might never have considered before. It is a fallacy that as we age life ought to slow down. I feel life more keenly than I ever have and I don’t want to waste another moment of it. Amazing and exciting things can blossom after a winter of sadness and loss – I say let’s welcome them with joy and fearlessness. What’s the worst that can happen? It may well be that the worst already has.

If you feel you need support to get that spring back in your step, contact SAMH.org.uk